When there is talk of open relationships or polyamory or any of the other myriad ways of conducting our intimate lives, it is never long before the question of jealousy looms over any discussion. For the vast majority of people, the question of how one should relate to other people in the relationship is one of the great taboos. And yet, as we know from the divorce statistics, meeting someone else, having an intimate relationship with them, and then, having to keep that relationship secret from your partner, remains the biggest problem that people face within a marriage or partnership.
The realisation of this has led many to question the basis of monogamy itself, and to search for different ways of being. Questions about the things that we take as "natural" in our daily lives, about ideology and what we believe about the world and our place within it are thrown up by these developments. Is monogamy simply a way of living our lives which grew up within modernity or can there be other ways to structure our relationships?
Tessa Krone has been married to her partner for 32 years, 16 of which they have practised Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM), falling in love with, being together with and sharing the lives with people outside of their primary relationship. She is the co-host of the podcast, ‘The Open Nesters.’
What emerges from the discussion here is that this is no easy path to tread, but that it may be worth the effort of open communication, constant discussion and the defeat of jealous feelings in the name of having a fuller life in which everyone's emotional and sexual needs are met in a way that complements rather than threatens the basis of our relationships. It is not for everyone and it is also not without its risks, but then, neither is the unexamined life.
The Open Nesters Website. Link here.
Listen to The Open Nesters Podcast. Link here.
The Open Nesters on Facebook. Link here.
The Open Nesters on Instagram. Link here.
Episode 20: What's Polyamory all about?