The Surprising 69% of Women Unhappy in Sex... and How to Fix It

Sixty-nine percent of women say they’re sexually unsatisfied.

For Malia Lazu, the real insight wasn’t the number. It was this: it has very little to do with who you’re with.

“It’s about whether you can actually receive pleasure,” she told me.

Malia is the founder of Sunflower Spa in Hawaii, a space designed to help women reconnect with their bodies and their desire. In this conversation, we explore why so many women, especially in midlife and beyond, feel disconnected from pleasure, and what actually helps.

One story stayed with me. A woman found herself mentally writing a grocery list during sex. The solution? Not mindset, something physical to bring her back into her body. Simple. Effective.

We also talk about “orgasm oneupmanship,” menopause myths, and why being sexual after 50 is still treated as taboo.

At the heart of it: faking it doesn’t help anyone. Real change starts with knowing your own body.

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Here’s what we cover:

• Why sexual dissatisfaction isn’t about your partner

• How to stay present during sex

• The problem with comparing orgasms

• Menopause and desire; what’s actually true

• Why self-awareness is the key to better sex

Follow Malia Here:

• Website

• Instagram

• YouTube

Chapters:

00:00 Malia Lazu on women's magic and purpose
01:16 Founding Sunflower Spa in Hawaii
02:28 Leaving corporate consulting behind
03:19 The 69% sexual satisfaction stat explained
06:33 Why women fake more than orgasms
07:15 The grocery list during sex story
10:45 Orgasm one-upmanship among women
15:53 Myths about sex after 50 and menopause
18:21 Childfree women and the taboo of ageing sexuality
21:14 Desentering men from your identity
24:43 Social conditioning and princess stories
29:31 Communication over faking it
32:44 Malia's closing message on worthiness

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