When Bruce Chalmer first fell in love with Judy Alexander, he described it as being a teenager again, except this time he could actually talk.
Twenty-two years later, they’re still together. And judging by our conversation, neither has lost their sense of humour or interest in sex.
Bruce is a couples therapist, Judy writes erotica, and together they host Couples Therapy in Seven Words.
What interested me was how different their relationship is from their previous marriages, particularly when it comes to talking openly about sex. They’ve created a relationship where discussing desires, trying something new, or admitting something isn’t working doesn’t have to become a problem.
Their approach comes down to seven words: Be kind, don’t panic, and have faith.
What We Cover:
Why sexual maturity can make sex better in your 60s and 70s.
How menopause and changing libido affect long-term relationships.
The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire.
Why being able to say no without hurting your partner matters.
How erotica, fantasy, humour and everyday affection help maintain intimacy.
Follow Bruce & Judy Here:
Chapters
00:00 Sponsor: OhMiBod & Introduction
02:11 Talking Openly About Sex After 22 Years
02:48 Why Sexual Maturity Matters
05:01 Lessons From Previous Marriages
07:16 How Experience Shapes Couples Therapy
12:02 Erotic Writing and Sexual Awakening
14:03 Fantasy in Monogamous Relationships
17:42 Unlearning Old Habits and Building Trust
19:51 Navigating Menopause and Changing Libido
20:51 Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire
21:49 Learning to Accept No Without Rejection
24:01 Playfulness and Intimacy Outside the Bedroom
25:47 Why Kindness and Respect Matter
27:07 What a Good Sex Life Looks Like After 60
29:00 Seven Words for Lasting Intimacy
30:02 Where to Find Bruce and Judy
31:21 Closing and More From Sex Advice for Seniors
Ready to Go Deeper? 🔥
150+ members-only articles and recordings. 18 topics. Zero shame.
✨ 135 in-depth articles on desire, pleasure, health and relationships after 50
📖 Nearly 50 Real-Life Stories & Erotica you won’t find anywhere else
🎙️ Weekly Substack Lives, plus 20+ replays to watch any time
🎁 My 32-page guide, Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life
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💬 A private members-only chat, for the questions you can’t ask anyone else
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