As soon as I saw Dr. Nikki Monti’s photo, an older woman with her streak of blue in her dark hair, I thought, we’re going to get along. A psychotherapist, who also calls herself a ‘thought healer,’ Nikki has appeared on a variety of high profile TV shows such as Keeping up with the Kardashians and recently published a memoir, ‘The Divine Traumedy of Nicki Joy: A True Grime Tale.’
This is a woman with a colourful past that includes three marriages, the first two short and chaotic, intertwined with drugs, alcoholism, violence and very brutal sex, which she now sees as reflecting how badly she treated herself. Her third lasted three decades and ended with the death of her partner, who following a prostatectomy, decided sex was over for both of them.
Without wishing to spoil this very lively episode, her current partner, whom also had a prostatectomy, chose a very different path, embracing creativity, sensuality and adaptation, and with him she describes having the best sex of her life.
Nikki is the living embodiment of my catchphrase ‘desire never retires’ and proof that, as she says, “older people can have rich sex lives if they stay in their bodies and stop running from themselves.” I encourage you to have a listen.
You can find Dr. Nikki Monti here:
https://www.instagram.com/drnickimonti
All her books and her website is available here:
https://stucknomore.com/books/
01:43 Exploring Relationships and Marriages
04:20 Lessons from Past Marriages
08:40 Navigating Love After Loss
10:21 The Importance of Sexuality and Intimacy
18:17 Finding Connection Beyond Type
27:46 Rising into Love and Self-Discovery
If you like this episode, and you’re a man who has also had a prostatectomy, you might find these two other episodes useful:
The Male Menopause - One Man's Journey post Prostate Cancer
Bob Mizek-Menopause for men and I connected through Substack, where he’s been sharing his journey following prostate cancer surgery. His writing tackles the highs and lows of that experience including dealing with medical professionals of varying skill levels and learning to advocate for his own sexual health.
The Intersection of Prostate Cancer and Sexual Function
Join me, Suzanne Noble, as I chat with the brilliant Dr. Pete Tsambarlis, an associate professor of urology at Northwestern University, who knows more about prostates than most of us know about our morning coffee! Dr. Tsambarlis was introduced to me by a patient of his, fellow Substacker
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