What do we learn about sex when no one talks about pleasure?
In this episode of Sex Advice for Seniors, clinical psychologist Dr. La Keita Carter (Dr. L) joined me for a powerful, honest conversation about sex, silence, and the myths surrounding women of colour and intimacy. We explore how cultural messages, shame, and generational “don’t bring a baby into this house” rules shape sexual desire, relationships, and self-worth, often long into adulthood.
Dr. L breaks down the difference between sexual interest and sexual activity, why so many women feel obligated to have sex they don’t want, and how the “strong woman” stereotype leaves little room for softness in the bedroom.
A thoughtful, eye-opening discussion about pleasure, power, and why whatever we’re silent about often carries the most shame.
🎧 Listen now and join the conversation.
00:00 Introduction to Dr. La Keita Carter
00:54 Understanding Sexuality and Trauma
01:59 Cultural Assumptions About Women of Color
03:44 The Silence Surrounding Sexual Education
05:19 The Role of Pleasure in Sexuality
09:14 Duty vs. Desire in Sexual Relationships
10:45 Masturbation and Self-Exploration
12:45 The Importance of Orgasms
15:22 Strength and Vulnerability in the Bedroom
17:58 The Exhaustion of Being Strong
20:42 Historical Perspectives on Women of Color and Sexuality
22:25 Over-Sexualization of Women of Color
25:48 The Male Perspective on Sexuality
27:24 The Importance of Language in Gender Discussions
31:37 Ending the Cycle of Shame
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