I’m a big believer that we can receive good advice from anyone, regardless of their age. Emma Shandy Anway is a West Coast-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specialises in relational and sex therapy. Although in her mid thirties, she has extensive experience working with couples aged 50+ and, during this episode, we discussed her work specifically with those aged 70+.
Having chatted several weeks ago with Dr. Susan Campbell, herself in her 80s, about her sex life, I was curious on how someone fifty years her junior approaches the topic with her older clients because I have found that lived experience counts for a huge amount and sometimes those who have no concept of what it means to be older fall into familiar tropes and stereotypes that have no bearing on reality.
I can’t say that about Emma whose approach with her older patients clearly demonstrates an openness and eagerness to help them embrace their sexual selves, whether that means exploring open relationships, kink or simply learning how to be a better lover to each other.
As Emma says, age, illness and changing bodies do not have to mean the end of a vibrant sex life; the biggest shifts are in mindset, communication and willingness to experiment.
What I know is that it is never too late to learn, explore or rewrite your sexual story, as long as you genuinely want to and are prepared to be curious, honest and kind with yourself and your partner.
You can find Emma here:
https://www.esacounseling.com/about
https://www.instagram.com/pennyboardpsych
Here’s a Yes/No/Maybe checklist I consider to be particularly comprehensive:
You can find the episode with Dr. Susan Campbell here:
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Sexuality in Later Life
01:44 Understanding the Motivations for Seeking Therapy
06:53 Redefining Good Sex: From Okay to Magnificent
12:06 Navigating Disappointment and Apathy in Relationships
16:19 Body Confidence and Aging: Embracing Change
23:09 Exploring Alternative Relationships and Sexuality
27:47 Communication Tools for Sexual Exploration
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