Designing Love Later in Life

Despite writing and talking about sex most days, I don’t spend much time thinking about it or craving it. That said, context changes everything. A suggestive message from a certain someone can flip a switch, and suddenly it’s all I can focus on. But without that external spark, sex doesn’t occupy much mental space.

If you’d told me in my forties that this is what my sixties would feel like, I wouldn’t have believed you. Back then, sex was on my mind constantly. There was a sense of urgency, perhaps my body’s way of counting down the years of fertility, that led me to take risks I wouldn’t consider now, like meeting strangers alone in hotel rooms. Thankfully, nothing bad ever happened, though I suspect I wasn’t alone in taking advantage of the Hoxton Hotel’s old £19 day rate. LOL.

These days, I’m far more cautious. First meetings happen in public, I’m selective about who I sleep with, and I take care not to put myself in danger. I still have sex most weeks, not out of urgency, but because I enjoy it. It’s fun, it’s good for me, and it adds to my overall sense of wellbeing. And I’m lucky enough to have found others who understand the meaning of mutual sexual pleasure.