The Power of Letting Go

I like sensory deprivation during sex, with blindfolds being my favourite kind. Taking away my ability to see, to watch, to feel my lover’s gaze upon me, while wearing a blindfold, enhances physical sensation, removes feelings of vulnerability, and frees my partner to do what they want, provided mutual consent has been agreed beforehand.

Trust is key. Letting go requires being absolutely certain that what is about to occur is exactly what one wants to happen. That is a given. Setting the scene and inhabiting one’s erotic landscape through exchanging emails or text messages can increase tension and excitement, with the more dominant partner suggesting what pleasure they intend to deliver, perhaps with a few visual representations thrown into the mix.

By the time the date arrives, I’m usually so wound up, in a good way, that every touch on my skin feels exquisite. Whether it’s a feather trailing along my arm, a back scratcher made of small metal “fingers” running up the inside of my thigh, or, even better, a tongue circling my nipples, there is an overwhelming thrill in not knowing what might happen next, or where.

As someone who does not get off on being watched, which may come as a surprise to those with whom I’ve attended a sex club, or on feeling as though I’m being watched, blindfolds are the perfect antidote. Although one of my erotic experiences involved being blindfolded in a club and pleasured by numerous men while my partner kept me safe, my lover may be watching me, but I’m unaware of it. If I could, I’d probably have sex wearing a blindfold at all times during sex, but then I suspect the thrill would disappear if it were no longer novel.