I’ve made no secret of the fact that I appreciate a dominant man. However, what that means in practise can vary enormously depending on with whom I’m speaking. Type One are those who having read 50 Shades of Grey too often, for example, enjoy doling out extreme pain, giving orders without waiting for any form of consent, and arrive wearing a well fitted suit.
Type Two are verbose to the point of distraction. One man I met wanted to talk dirty throughout our entire encounter until felt forced to use my two safe words, Shut Up. Finally, there’s the more sensual type who enjoy gentle coaxing as opposed to force. These types may be the more strong and silent variety, with the occasional whisper in one’s ear from time to time.
The latter are the type I prefer and they’re a rare breed as so many men simply resort to the more popular Type One stereotypes as seen in movies such as 9 ½ Weeks or, more recently, that dreadful film starring Nicole Kidman, Babygirl. Her young lover, with all his ridiculous posturing, wouldn’t have gotten far with me. I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me feel uneasy.
The best Doms for me are the one who can wind me up with words, preferably via some kind of messaging system, and then remain almost silent when we finally meet by which time I’m merely carrying out memorised orders (until, inevitably, our script goes completely awry and we’re into mutually pleasurable improvisation).
I never know when I’ll meet the type of dominant man I’m seeking as most men, I’ve discovered, know that simply adding ‘dominant’ to a profile is likely to generate more responses than announcing, for example, that they’re submissive. And, as a result, men liberally add it to their description like they’re adding salt to a steak, in the hope they can get away with getting what they want without having to give anything back in return or resorting to the basics (kissing, oral, intercourse) without having to go through the trouble of inventing a story.
Ninety percent of the guys that say they’re dominant rarely ask what that word means to me. Instead, I have to tease out of them what type of Dom they are, which does more to turn them on then it does me and seems to miss the whole point of wanting them to be the instigators. I fully approve of setting out my boundaries, like and dislikes, but I’d appreciate some sense of what they had in mind instead of basically sketching out my fantasy in minute detail.
My most recent encounter was spur of the moment, as the best ones often are.
