From Apps to Acceptance: Navigating Love, Lust, and the Art of Self-Care

Why Being Kind to Yourself Matters in the Dating World

A colleague of mine often reminds me and others we work with to “be kind to yourself.” It’s one of those phrases that should be a mantra for anyone navigating the modern dating world, especially online. Dating at any age, but especially when you’re over 50, can be incredibly challenging. Ghosting, being dumped, or seeing the dreaded “There’s nobody here for you right now” (possibly the ultimate rejection) message can take a toll on even the most resilient among us.

In the world of dating, there are constant reminders that we’re not good enough, that there’s always someone prettier, funnier, or simply more exciting than us. Fun fact, it’s one of the reasons I have kept my hair various shades of pinks and purples for the last decade because, after attending a single’s event for older people back in 2015, I realised that my usual shade of blonde was indistinguishable from 99% of the women in the room. If I wanted to stand out, I literally had to stand out.

I follow several dating coaches, and they generally fall into two camps. The first group consists of those who have finally found someone wonderful, often after years of searching, and now offer comfort and advice to those still looking. They often share pictures of their partner, both smiling, seemingly happy, as if to say, ‘Look, I did it. I found someone!’ The second group is still in the trenches, using apps, attending events, and sharing updates on their own search for love.

Here’s what I know…