As we get older, intimacy can feel a bit like an antique that’s seen better days. Long-term relationships sometimes settle into routines so familiar they’re almost like wearing your slippers all day; comfortable but lacking that spark that once made your heart race. Many older people find themselves wondering if it’s possible to reignite the flame, to rediscover desire and pleasure in their bodies and with their partners.
As someone who was celibate during the last four years of my own marriage, I can only sit back and admire anyone who managed to reengage with intimacy in their own long-term sexless relationship.
But how do you navigate this unchartered terrain? How do you open up your heart when years of restraint, conditioning, or even trauma have built walls so thick they could withstand a siege?
One approach that has helped many, including
, whom I interviewed on my podcast and is the author of the serial memoir Touch Me There, is the concept known as the Wheel of Consent. Think of it as a kind-hearted GPS for touch and connection. But what is it exactly and how does it work?Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
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