Last week, I was invited to co-host a workshop for the British Association for Sexual Health and HIV (BASHH) called “Getting It On While Getting On: Exploring Desire, Pleasure and Intimacy in Later Life with Curiosity and Confidence.”
In the room were gynaecologists, physiotherapists, sex therapists, sexual health doctors and nurses specialising in sexual function. I felt incredibly honoured to be there, but also slightly intimidated.
I have no professional qualifications in sexual health. What I do have is lived experience, along with everything I’ve learned from hundreds of conversations with world-class professionals working in sex, dating and relationships. I also hear daily from followers who share their questions, experiences and concerns with me.
I know that counts for a lot. Even so, imposter syndrome can still creep in when I’m speaking to a room full of professionals who work every day with patients struggling with their sexual health and relationships.
What could I possibly teach them that they didn’t already know?
Returning for a second workshop
This was the second time my co-host, Dr Ali Mears, and I had delivered the workshop. We first presented it to a group of junior GPs six months earlier.
Those young doctors seemed to enjoy our double act, although most were still too shy to ask many questions. The feedback afterwards was so positive that Ali invited me to stage a comeback at the BASHH conference.
Ali has been an experienced consultant in sexual health at a London hospital for nearly 20 years. I suspect there is hardly a problem she hasn’t encountered. Yet she felt that my first-hand experience as an older woman and content creator could add something useful.
As the workshop unfolded, I was fascinated by the range of issues these professionals encounter every day. It reminded me once again why we need to recognise that sex has no expiration date.
For almost every difficulty older adults face in trying to maintain a happy, healthy sex life, there is some form of help available. The problem is that people may not know whom to ask, or may feel too embarrassed to ask at all.
When sexual-health concerns are dismissed
