Little Red Corvette in a Pride‑Painted Parking Lot: An Evening at a Kink Munch

Notes from my first meeting of kinky people in Chaing Mai

What does it mean to be kinky?
Where do you fall on the feminine/masculine spectrum?
How romantic would you consider yourself to be?

These were a sample of the questions being asked to a group of strangers at a munch I recently attended in Chiang Mai, where I’m staying for a month. Questions that, in any other setting, might require at least a glass of wine, a sofa, and the safety of old friends—but here were being asked cheerfully, completely sober, and of people I’d never before laid eyes on, much less fingers.

For those unfamiliar with the term, a munch is a social gathering, usually held in a public space such as a restaurant or bar, where people gather who are interested in, or consider themselves somewhere on, the kinky spectrum—often overlapping with LGBTQ+ communities or those who see themselves as alternative in some way. Mostly—at least at the event I attended—it’s for people who enjoy debating what all of this means, which, as I learned during the evening, is as individual as fingerprints and just as difficult to define. It’s a great way, if you’ve ever been curious to explore your sexual identity, your fantasies, or simply to meet an interesting group of people, to do so in a confidential, safe space that is completely devoid of sexual activity. Think less Eyes Wide Shut, more group therapy with original attire (of the completely un-sexy kind).