Why Early Sexual Honesty Matters in Relationships

Back in my married days, my husband and I never talked about sex. It was something we did, until we didn’t. I had grown bored of always initiating and, being someone who likes to make some noise (not all the time, but at appropriate moments, it can’t be helped), I felt ashamed when my husband, clearly embarrassed by my sudden outburst, laughed. Not in a we’re-all-in-this-together sort of way, but in a way that left me feeling ridiculed. That may not have been his intention, but that was the end result. From that moment on, I decided to call it quits on our sex life, where it remained until our divorce four years later.

I suspect I’m not the only one, based on many of the comments I’ve received over the years, who spent a long time celibate during marriage. But in my case, divorce led to a sexual awakening, which in turn allowed me to talk about sex with subsequent partners in a way I never had during my marriage.