For a start, I thought its unique design was created for couples’ pleasure, with the small stem fitting inside the vagina and the two egg-shaped balls sitting around the clitoris. I mean, look at it. It’s U shaped, which is almost always a signifier of a couples toy and the eggs strategically placed on top of each other were screaming out to me, these go either side of the clitoris. I thought here was not a toy designed to be used on my own, so I put off reviewing it because life got in the way and the opportunity to test yet another toy with a partner never seemed to arrive. Most of the men in my life enjoy their role of toy tester, but if you saw the boxes of stuff that are lying around, it can feel overwhelming especially if you’re not somebody who has used lots of toys with previous partners.

The last time I was with someone new who shared an interest in toys, I suggested that he might want to try the Vibrosa on me, but he couldn’t figure out how to switch it on. Instead, he grabbed a more conventional vibe, a kind of modern-day rabbit, which he worked out how to operate simply by continuing to press the buttons until the thing sprung to life. We had lots of fun that particular time. Reminder to self: if I want a man to use a toy on me, teach him how it turns on before the blindfold goes on, not once I’ve already come.

Then, on Friday, having waited several months to try the Vibrosa out and with Honey Playbox quite rightly becoming more impatient with me, I suggested to a new friend that he might assist me in testing the toy. He said, “Why not?” After a period spent kissing and sucking each other in various positions, I grabbed the Vibrosa, turned it on with one simple press of the button (yes, it was that simple), and positioned the long, slim stem inside me, with the egg-shaped balls sitting on the outside. My partner slid his cock into me and later said, “I could feel your vibrations, vibrating from the toy when I was inside you,” which he found added another layer of excitement to our play.

The vibrations were particularly strong.

As for me, getting the egg-shaped balls to sit comfortably on my clit didn’t quite work out, although I did enjoy the feeling of my partner’s cock sliding in and out alongside the vibrator’s stem. But as for the egg-shaped balls, they were too big, too unwieldy to remain in place and, as with other toys I’ve tried that actually were designed for couples, the toy required me to hold it in place to keep it from slipping out. Even so, it was fun for a short time, a novel experience, and I do enjoy introducing new sensations to a partner who is open-minded and not offended, as some men are, when a toy enters the bedroom. The toy having been tossed aside, I ended up coming on his face, while he did his own type of tossing, which worked for him. Both satisfied, I couldn’t help thinking that I perhaps hadn’t used the Vibrosa as intended. Time to open the box and find the instruction guide.

That’s when II learned that although the Vibrosa can be used as a couples’ toy, especially if one pairs it with the Honey Playbox app, which turned out to be surprisingly easy to do, it can also be a hands-free toy for solo pleasure. The eggs were designed to go inside, not outside, with the intention of stimulating the G and A spots (who knew?) while the long, slender stem sat on the clitoris. Yup, I’d gotten the damn thing completely the wrong way around. It was back to square one, but this time on my own, using the app to control the various vibratory patterns and intensity of the vibrations.

This turned out to be lots of fun, with me using the app to experiment with various patterns. There was mention of it being pressure sensitive but squeezing hard with my vaginal muscles didn’t seem to alter the vibrations at all. There’s also an option of syncing the toy with music or using voice activation, which I suspect could be enjoyable for those in a long-distance relationship, the idea being that you can operate the toy remotely while sharing your most intimate thoughts out loud. For me, these features always feel unnecessary– I mean, I find listening to music during sex distracting enough, I don’t need a vibrator that beats along with the latest Taylor Swift but then I have friends who get off on this type of stuff so whatever floats your boat. I’m not going to judge you.

The main question I suspect you’re wanting answered is, did the Vibrosa get me off. It did, but ultimately I found that not having control myself over the toy was not going to work for a control freak such as I am, who likes to be able to move the vibrator around as I’m closer to climaxing. Eventually I pushed the stem resting against my clit to the side, took out my faithful bullet leaving the eggs pulsating inside me. Letting out a groan that I hoped my neighbours wouldn’t hear, I found the combination of the internal and external vibrations was both incredibly stimulating and led to a very powerful orgasm.

A small lesson in sex toys, then: read the instructions first, make assumptions later, and never underestimate the power of an egg-shaped mistake.

Buy the Vibrosa Here

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Honey Playbox says:

Key Features of VIBROSA

• App-Controlled for Personalized Play – Enjoy endless vibration patterns, voice commands, long-distance play, and music sync through the Honey Play Box app.

• Alternating & Simultaneous Vibration Modes – Alternate between 10 built-in rhythms or control each motor independently via the app for a mind-blowing sensation.

• Real-Time Pressure Response – Every pelvic squeeze matches with vibrations for intuitive, body-responsive play.

• Extended Battery Life – A 60-minute charge powers over 5 hours of use, with steady intensity even on low battery.

• Discreet, Whisper-Quiet Design (<50 dB) – This egg vibrator is perfect for shared spaces or on-the-go wear.

• Customizable LED Tail – Add ambiance with glowing light modes, from playful flashes to soft pulses.

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That’s the challenge Monica Tanner puts to almost every couple she works with. Check your bank account, your diary, your To Do List and then work out where your relationship ranks on the scale of priorities.

Monica is a relationship coach, Relational Life Therapy practitioner, and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast. She joined me on Sex Advice for Seniors to talk about what actually keeps couples connected well into their 60s, 70s, and beyond.

What she shared surprised me. It starts with a percentage I’d never considered before.

Her 3% rule is a dead-simple framework for staying close without overhauling your life. When she broke it down into actual time, I couldn’t argue with it.

Then we got into the harder stuff. What happens to sexual connection when health gets in the way? Why couples wait for a crisis before having the conversations that matter. And whether it’s really possible to undo decades of entrenched patterns.

Monica’s answer to that last one genuinely surprised me.

Here’s what we cover:

• The 3% rule: less time than you think, more impact than you’d expect

• Why resentment is just a request you haven’t learned to make yet

• The one daily habit that stops long-term couples from becoming strangers

• Why health crises unlock conversations couples should have had years earlier

• How fast deeply entrenched patterns can actually shift with the right support

Follow Monica here:

• Website

• Secrets of Happily Ever After Podcast

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In this lively conversation with Dr. Trina Read, a globally recognised sexologist, author, and one of the “most trusted voices on long-term intimacy,” we discuss the new wave of sex toys, namely those created by a company called Tracey’s Dog, which is “beta-ing” a toy called Drill Me. Yes, you read that correctly.

A company that sounds like it should be making pet products, which is what it originally was, has now entered the world of “teledildonics” (apparently, that’s a thing) to create a product that allows you to have sex with, for example, a werewolf (Hugh Jackman, are you listening?) via an avatar you can create. Or a doctor. A fireman. In fact, any fantasy you might have, whether it’s a younger or older man, a man in uniform, or a sexy beast.

You name it, and apparently the Aiphy app can create it, allowing you to move beyond the mediocre sex you may be experiencing in real life and have the kind of sex you’ve always desired. This, folks, is our future.

Or is it?

Trina and I discuss whether over-50s are ready for, or even interested in, sex toys of this variety, whether AI avatars can replace real people, and the pros and cons of this new technology.

I won’t give away the outcome. Instead, I hope you’ll listen to this Substack Live, which was a lot of fun. And, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

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Trust is key. Letting go requires being absolutely certain that what is about to occur is exactly what one wants to happen. That is a given. Setting the scene and inhabiting one’s erotic landscape through exchanging emails or text messages can increase tension and excitement, with the more dominant partner suggesting what pleasure they intend to deliver, perhaps with a few visual representations thrown into the mix.

By the time the date arrives, I’m usually so wound up, in a good way, that every touch on my skin feels exquisite. Whether it’s a feather trailing along my arm, a back scratcher made of small metal “fingers” running up the inside of my thigh, or, even better, a tongue circling my nipples, there is an overwhelming thrill in not knowing what might happen next, or where.

As someone who does not get off on being watched, which may come as a surprise to those with whom I’ve attended a sex club, or on feeling as though I’m being watched, blindfolds are the perfect antidote. Although one of my erotic experiences involved being blindfolded in a club and pleasured by numerous men while my partner kept me safe, my lover may be watching me, but I’m unaware of it. If I could, I’d probably have sex wearing a blindfold at all times during sex, but then I suspect the thrill would disappear if it were no longer novel.

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The wonderful Amara Charles and I talk about how to design your sexual life as you age. How to experience pleasure, and what if an ageing body isn’t broken, but is simply done performing?

Can later life sex become freer, wiser, more playful and more intimate than the sex we had when we were younger? Listen and find out!

Go to amaracharles.com to learn more about Amara’s work.

Subscriber to Sex Advice for Seniors to hear about my weekly Substack Lives, my regular podcast . Paid subscribers also receive posts of a more intimate nature. :)

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That night followed him for years. More failed encounters, a growing drinking habit, and a gambling addiction that gave him somewhere to put the shame. Sex and alcohol got tangled up early, and for a long time, one couldn’t happen without the other.

Tom is the author of The Drunk Gambler with Erectile Dysfunction. The title is accurate. He eventually turned to Cialis, which helped but he was honest enough with himself to know he wasn’t fixing anything. He was just making the symptom quieter.

The real work came later. He moved to Colombia, stripped out the drinking and the gambling, and started looking at what was actually going on. Diet, exercise, stress, sleep all which he had neglected. And then there was the harder stuff: the shame he’d never said out loud, and the fear that any woman who knew the full story would walk.

What shifted, and how, is what this conversation is really about.

Tom’s story isn’t just for younger men. The patterns he describes such as performance anxiety, over-reliance on medication, the silence men keep around sexual difficulty show up at every age. So does the way through.

Here’s what we cover:

• Why alcohol and ED are more directly linked than most people realise

• What Cialis can and can’t fix

• The lifestyle changes that actually moved the needle

• How one honest conversation with his partner changed everything

• What a six-day retreat in Colombia had to do with any of it

Follow Tom here:

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The Cleveland Clinic defines being dysregulated as “a state where bodily, emotional, or nervous system processes are not controlled or managed effectively, resulting in intense, disproportionate reactions.” Mostly, it appears to be related to having undergone some kind of trauma, which results in perhaps being highly anxious, angry, depressed, or any other behaviour that would be considered ‘undesirable.’ When guys tell me about their crazy ex, I suspect they’re not crazy, but perhaps dysregulated. I can’t speak for others but I have known enough men that I have allowed to create feelings inside of me that did not feel good and, yes, completely dysregulated!

In a relationship, dysregulation can manifest as ‘emotional chaos.’ Perhaps some of these behaviours look familiar to you.

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Scot McKay has coached men and women through dating for twenty years, and in all that time, I’d never once interviewed a male dating coach. He’s blunt, a bit contrarian, and he made a case I wasn’t expecting.

Here’s what we cover:

• Why the golden age of online dating died with the swipe (and what came after)

• The “mutual surrender” has quietly replaced the war of the sexes

• Why health became my number one dealbreaker (and no, I won’t apologise for it)

• “Deserve what you want,” not “get what you deserve,” and what changes when you flip it

• The one force no app, algorithm, or angry man online will ever switch off

If everyone else has given up on partnership, the people who haven’t just got the field to themselves. Scott calls it less competition. I call it the best reason I’ve heard to stay in the game.

Follow Scot here:

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If you’re struggling with unreliable erections, check out my new program: https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

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If you want a man with a high libido, then you’ll find them on swinging sites, with the advantage being that men outnumber women by about 100 to 1. If you want a man who will endlessly text you before eventually meeting you in Café Nero for a subpar coffee, you go on Match.com. I don’t drink coffee. I like to feel wanted and know that I won’t have too much competition on Swinging Heaven (SH). Being a single woman on SH, even a single woman of 60 (give or take a few years), is as rare as seeing the sun during the average UK winter and just as desirable.

As a woman who likes to feel like a unicorn, such as I am, then I know I can have both my ego and the more intimate areas of my body stroked within a short amount of time. I’m not a big fan of texting, preferring to try and arrange a first meet quickly and hook-up sites do tend to deliver those whom want the same.

On sites such as Fab Swingers, for example, you can almost be guaranteed, no matter what you look like, provided you have a pussy, of receiving upwards of thirty messages within the first 24 hours of registering. It can be overwhelming, sifting through them all, especially when it quickly becomes apparent that very few of these men have bothered to read beyond a line or two of one’s profile, if that. Clearly, profile reading is regarded by many as a deeply optional extra whereas showing you their engorged appendage seems to be the prime picture as opposed to say, the standard headshot or man sitting astride a racing bicycle.

What unifies the swinging sites, and any of the other more traditional dating sites I’ve tried, is that it doesn’t actually matter what I say I want because the majority of the time my requests are completely ignored. If I specify nobody under 50, for example, I’ll still receive numerous approaches from men in their twenties or thirties. If I am adamant that if a guy has a beer belly to please pass me by, I receive images of guys who looked like they swallowed a beach ball.

You may wonder, why do I bother? I often ask myself the same question but the honest truth is that I know, hidden amongst the dozens of profiles of men for whom I am completely incompatible either because of age, distance or because their desires do not align with my own, I still do always manage to find a few that I have a sense will be a good match. The rest, I suppose, are simply there to keep my inbox looking full. The good ones, the ones who can spell, take a reasonably good photo, express themselves without resorting to cliches like ‘You’re so hot’ can be surprisingly fun.

Which is how, after a 48-hour stint on ‘Fab’ (I couldn’t cope with the attention for any longer), I ended up on a date with Houdini, a 6’4” a guy who looked like someone you might see guarding the door at an upmarket club, broad shoulders, with a tan the colour of weathered oak, hair buzz cut to a number 2, ten years my junior and formerly with the SAS and Special Forces, sharing a drink at a pub in Notting Hill. Not a scam artist, not a Walter Mitty as so many of these SAS guys often are, but the real deal.

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This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, I sat down with Anthony Canapi, CEO of Best Man Matchmaking, the only US matchmaker working exclusively with gay men. He’s also a psychotherapist, which matters more than you’d think when the people coming to him are 60, 70, or even older.

Here’s what we cover:

• Why so many older gay men quietly give up on love, and what changes their minds

• The lasting weight of the AIDS crisis on how gay seniors date today

• Why “younger men only” is often grief, not attraction

• The math of dating apps that finally explains why everyone is exhausted

• What you’re really paying for when you hire a matchmaker (yes, we talk money)

That 70-year-old? He nearly turned around when the tire blew. The mechanic talked him into keeping the date. He’s now married to the man he met that night.

Follow Anthony here:

Website

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If you’re struggling with unreliable erections, check out my new program:

https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

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If you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

Sex toys are, surprisingly, banned in many parts of Southeast Asia, where I spent the first quarter of 2026. Who knew? I had assumed I could stockpile my reviews, head out to Thailand with a bag full of “pressies,” and have a grand old time playing with myself, especially since my usu…

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This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, after nearly 200 episodes, I finally said the words “clitoral atrophy” out loud. Mindset and lifestyle coach Tanya Leake joined me to walk through what actually happens. Falling estrogen thins the tissues. Blood flow drops. The clitoris becomes less sensitive, takes longer to wake up, sometimes goes quiet. In some cases the hood fuses over the head of the clitoris. There is a name for it. Clitoral adhesion. Most women have never been told this is a thing.

Here’s what we cover:

• Why clitoral atrophy happens to most of us, and why almost no doctor will say the words

• What clitoral adhesions actually are, and how to spot the signs

• Why “use it or lose it” really does apply to your clitoris, and is medical fact, not a slogan

• How vaginal estrogen, DHEA and hyaluronic acid each rebuild tissue, and why lube and coconut oil are not in the same category

• What it takes to fire a doctor who dismisses your sexual health and find one who has caught up with the research

Follow Tanya here:

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A s…

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This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, I talk to Joe Bains, a London-based biohacker and tantra practitioner, about what seven years at a tantra school taught him about intimacy, orgasms, and why your health is the biggest aphrodisiac there is.

Joe came from a background where sex simply didn’t exist as a conversation. Now he’s multi-orgasmic, and he has a lot to say about how you get there.

Here’s what we cover:

• Why biohacking is just optimisation, and why it matters more to your sex life than you think

• What “internal orgasms” actually are and how men learn to have them

• Why health is the single most powerful driver of desire at midlife

• How “how you do anything is how you do everything” applies directly to your sex life (even sweeping the floor!)

• What it takes to escape a background of total sexual silence and start again

Follow Joe here:

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Facebook

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Ready to Go Deeper?

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If you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.