This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, I talk to Amy Color, intimacy and relationship coach with 20 years of experience, about why couples therapy so often makes things worse, what intimacy actually means, and why penetration is a man’s least effective move. She built her entire method because she couldn’t find anyone who could help her own marriage. Now she turns couples around in six weeks.

Here’s what we cover:

• Why couples therapy can feel like “a slow, expensive divorce.”

• The real difference between love, sex, and intimacy

• Why is erectile dysfunction quietly destroying men’s lives

• How to explore whole-body pleasure that actually works at midlife

• Why scheduling intimacy isn’t unromantic. It’s how you make it happen

Follow Amy here:

• Instagram

• Facebook

• LinkedIn

• YouTube

• Amy’s TED Talk

Ready to Go Deeper?

Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.

As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:

✨ Full access to my sexy stories
🎙️ The complete archive of 175+ expert-led podcasts
💬 Entry to my private members-only chat room
📘 My 32-page guide: Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life

If you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

It’s hard to miss something you’ve never had, although you may experience a certain emptiness or longing without being able to actually put your finger on it. Good communication isn’t going to change that if you’re unable to articulate exactly what’s going wrong.

This was brought home to me recently.

Read more

This week on Sex Advice for Seniors, I talk to Jon Plate from Nordic Stem Cells about what he calls the “silent aftershock” of radical prostatectomy and why so many men are left to quietly grieve their sex lives while everyone tells them they should just be grateful to be alive. We also get into a new stem‑cell approach that claims to do more than just offer another pill or pump.

Here’s what we cover:

• The hidden sexual fallout of prostate cancer surgery

• Why doctors gloss over erection problems – and how that feels for men

• Shame, ageism, and why older couples stop asking for help

• A stem‑cell treatment that aims to fix the cause, not just the symptoms

• What men and partners should be asking before and after surgery

Nordic Stem Cells are offering Sex Advice for Seniors readers an exclusive VIP package:

• Treatment: USD 19,800 (normal price USD 22,500 for the medical treatment only)

• Additionally: Free airport transfers to/from the hotel and 2 nights at Hyatt Centric (right next to the facility)

• Jon will personally oversee your stay to ensure a seamless experience

To trigger the discount and VIP package, you must mention the affiliate code: “Noble2026“ when you approach Nordic Stem Cell either via the website or by contacting info@nordicstemcell.com or Jon directly at jon@nordicstemcell.com.

Ready to Go Deeper?

Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.

As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:

✨ Full access to my sexy stories
🎙️ The complete archive of 175+ expert-led podcasts
💬 Entry to my private members-only chat room
📘 My 32-page guide: Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life

If you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

That silence is potentially life threatening.

I’ve lost two partners over the space of twenty years to chronic illness. In both cases, erectile dysfunction was the first sign that something was seriously wrong. Whether the cause is psychological or physiological, ED is often the body’s earliest warning signal of a more significant health issue such as cardiovascular problems, diabetes, hormonal imbalance. It needs to be taken seriously, not endured quietly, with shame or ignorance.

And yet when I’ve spoken to men for whom this is a real and present issue, the conversation nearly almost always arrives at the same place: how do I let my partner know this has nothing to do with her?

Because I understand that fear completely. I was there myself, in my younger years. When I was with a man whose body wasn’t responding in the way I expected, my first instinct wasn’t concern for him, it was a very particular kind of self-doubt. He must not fancy me. I must not be attractive enough. His body is telling me something his mouth won’t say. It became entirely about me, my own ego, my insecurity.

But here’s what I know now that I didn’t know then: unreliable erections are rarely caused by a man not desiring his partner. In fact, no man with whom I’ve spoken on this topic has ever mentioned this, in fact entirely the opposite. And while I suspect for a few men this may occasionally be true, it’s the exception, not the rule. The far more likely explanations such anxiety, medication, vascular health, hormones, sheer exhaustion, have nothing to do with how attractive you are or how much he wants you. The two things have been conflated for so long that it takes a conscious effort to separate them. Believe me when I tell you - a man’s unreliable erection almost always has nothing to do with YOU.

Talking about erections is not easy. So much of how men understand themselves - their vitality, their status, their identity as a lover - is tied to whether their cock works reliably. And even though statistics consistently show that the majority of women don’t reach orgasm through penetrative sex alone, penetration remains the gold standard to which most men aspire. When an erection is unreliable, or absent altogether, the instinct tends to be one of three things: ignore it, apologise, or disengage entirely.

None of those options will improve your relationship or your ability to achieve an erection. Here’s what will…

Read more

Over 11 years, she has been collecting anonymous sexual confessions. Over 1300 of them and guess what? (She makes my 180+ episodes seem pedestrian, in comparison!). The over 60s are consistently her most surprising guests, with many in their 70s confessing that it was only recently they discovered their sexual preferences.

There’s a couple in her new book, Secret Sex Lies of Total Strangers, who met after their spouses died and built a sex barn in their backyard. In their 70s. Neither of them saw it coming and they’re having a blast.

Here’s what we cover:

• Couples in their 70s having the best sex of their lives

• The sex barn story you won’t forget in a hurry

• Why open relationships are often closer than conventional ones

• Men with decades of secrets and what finally changes at 50

• Why desire grows as you get older, not the other way round

To see exclusive photos of Kathy’s female guests, gain access to her private Discord channel where conversations get extra naughty, hear anonymous confessions, and receive all episodes early and ad-free, listeners can join the Strictly Anonymous Podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast

Kathy’s book, Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers—a collection of short, super sexy, true stories—is now available for pre-order. Get a copy here.

To join SDC and receive a free trial, click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or visit SDC.com and use code 37712.

Call the Confessions Hotline at 347-420-3579 (available 24/7). All voices are changed to ensure anonymity.

Follow along:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en
Website: http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/
All links: https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast

My new program for men with Erectile Dysfunction. Check it out here, current introductory offer only $49.99 https://www.stayfirmprogram.com

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

At first, I thought he was being cynical. But the longer I’ve spent navigating the modern dating world, the more I know he’s right.

If all you can expect is two boxes, what’s the point of dating site questionnaires?

Read more

This episode features Chris Bustamante, known online as Injector Chris, a New York nurse practitioner who’s made a name helping men look and feel better below the belt. He’s down to earth, straight talking and not shy about the fact that for lots of men size matters for self-esteem as much as for sex.

We talk about the treatments men are asking for and what actually works if you want to make your penis bigger, firmer, and more responsive, all without surgery or gimmicks.

Here’s what to expect:

Girth filler that adds real volume, both hard and soft

The P-Shot using high-concentration PRP for stronger erections

Penile Botox for quicker, fuller blood flow

Scrotal filler for men on testosterone who’ve lost volume

Chris has seen how these procedures can transform not just bodies but confidence and relationships.

Listen in - it’s candid, eye-opening, and might change how you think about ageing, pleasure, and performance.

More About Lushful Aesthetics

Follow Chris on Instagram

Ready to Go Deeper?

Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.

As a paid subscriber, you’ll get:

✨ Full access to my sexy stories
🎙️ The complete archive of 175+ expert-led podcasts
💬 Entry to my private members-only chat room
📘 My 32-page guide: Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life

If you’re ready to explore new possibilities and feel fully supported, join today for £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

He spends a great deal of his time treating men with this condition, which involves the development of fibrous scar tissue, known as plaque, under the skin of the penis…

Read more

Junie is a love coach who works primarily with women in the second half of life. She helps them navigate dating, starting over, and learning to want themselves again. But before she could do any of that work for others, she had to do it for herself. So in 2016, she did something most of us would never consider: she had her naked body painted by internationally known body painter Andy Golub, filmed the whole thing, and turned it into a mini documentary called Shed the Shame.

It didn’t start as a grand statement. Junie had a live streaming show and Andy was a guest. Mid-conversation, she asked if he’d paint her body while they filmed. He said yes. And then the dread set in.

Her stomach went into knots. Andy paints naked people. What was she doing? She spent a month sitting with the question: was this for attention, or was there a real message here? The answer came when she realised there was more risk in not doing it. She had already missed out on pool parties, beach trips, living freely in her own skin. The fact that she could even consider standing naked in front of a camera meant something had already shifted.

She decided to go all in and she hired a videographer. She screened the resulting short at film festivals, sat in a cinema watching herself on a huge screen, naked. Not because she felt perfect but because healing is possible, and she wanted to prove it.

What she found wasn’t perfection. It was about the fact that she’d given herself permission.

That’s the word that keeps coming up in Junie’s work. Not transformation, not a before-and-after, but permission. Permission to take up space. Permission to let someone touch you. Permission to be seen, imperfect and whole at once. Her partner tells her he loves every inch of her, every curve. She can receive it, she says, because she’s done enough of her own work to mostly believe it.

“My body is a vehicle,” she says. “It’s holding my beautiful spirit.” But there’s a lot of old messaging, she adds, that tells us we’re not enough. Her work is helping women trace that messaging back to its roots and stop letting it make decisions for them.

It’s the same work I’ve been doing in my own way. I’ve been going to Cap d’Agde, a naturist village in the south of France, for years. Forty thousand naked people wandering around, shopping, cycling, living. (If you’ve never been there, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience!). And what you see quickly is that no one looks like the magazines. The women who look perfect in clothes have stretch marks. Everyone’s got something going on. It’s the single most effective cure for body shame I’ve ever found.

Junie agrees. She’s done nude beaches herself. Seeing real, unfiltered bodies in their every shape and size just brings you back to reality, she says. The body is unique and beautiful and different. And even the people you’d wish you looked like have their own insecurities.

That’s the whole message. Not that we have to love what we see in the mirror every day. But that we can stop being at war with it.

Key Takeaways

• Body shame isn’t a personal failure. It’s old programming, and it can be reprogrammed.

• Seeing real, unfiltered bodies, at nude beaches, in documentaries, in honest conversation, is one of the most powerful antidotes to shame.

• You don’t have to believe you’re beautiful every day. You just have to stop letting the belief that you’re not run your choices.

• Confidence is the most attractive quality in any room, at any size, at any age.

• You can keep your clothes on during sex and still feel fully seen. Do what works for you.

• Movement connects directly to desire. When we move our bodies, we move our energy. Everything wakes up.

Visit Junie's Website

Follow Junie on Instagram

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

I spent most of my 40s convinced that the only sensible way to have sex was with two men. Even so, it took me months, maybe even a year, before I experienced the perfect MMF threesome. And what a glorious experience that was. Two men focused on me, my pleasure, my enjoyment, me as the centre of attention. I loved it. I loved it so much that, for two solid years in my 40s, I only had threesomes. Once I found the perfect men who were equally enthusiastic, mastered the geometry, I found it all too much fun to go back to me and one other.

Read more

Gilda spent eight years as a columnist and spokesperson for Match.com, writing the widely read Ask Dr. Gilda column. When the company sent her to a Washington DC event for AARP members, she assumed she’d be done in five minutes. “I thought these people were going to be so over the hill,” she told me. “I’m going to make my presentation and five minutes later I’ll be out of the door.”

Standing room only. A packed auditorium. Questions coming faster than she could answer them. These were not people with one foot in the grave.

The women’s burning question? How do I find a man who drives at night? Gilda responded by asking every man in the room to raise his hand. What followed, she says, was a mob scene.

The men had a different concern. They didn’t want their age displayed on the platform. One man made the argument with complete confidence. Short, bald, slightly bent. Ninety-two years old. He told Gilda he liked to date women in their sixties, and that he had what it takes. She believed him. She went back to Match and lobbied on his behalf. They declined.

From there, our conversation covers a lot of ground. Gilda talks about why she walked out mid-sentence on a date who had shown up twenty years older than his profile claimed. (She had given a fake name online for safety: Sparkle. He chased her out of the restaurant calling after her. Loudly.) We discuss a Bumble study showing women are now dating ten years younger on average, and why their younger partners are enthusiastic about it. And Gilda shares the story of a PhD psychologist who found love by reading the obituaries, tracking down recently widowed men in her neighbourhood, and arriving with casseroles. One of them married her.

We also get into something I hear about constantly from women my age. Men who retire without hobbies, without purpose, without much to offer in a conversation. Gilda shares a statistic that stuck with me: people who retire with nothing to replace the work tend to live only seven more years afterward. The grind ends and there is no plan for what comes next. That’s not just a health problem. It’s visible when you meet someone. It’s not attractive.

Gilda’s position is simple: get vital before you try to get seen. Work out. Present well. Have a life. Know who you are. Because older women, as she points out, already do. We have done the difficult relationships, made the mistakes, and come out the other side with something younger women often cannot offer: directness, self-knowledge, and zero interest in playing games.

Jane Seymour said she has had the best sex of her life at 74. Four husbands, one brilliant partner, no judgment, no interference. That is the standard Gilda is holding out for. Honestly, so am I.

What Matters

• Ageist algorithms are real. Lying about your age online is a rational response to being made invisible, not a character flaw.

• Women’s top priority in senior dating is vitality, not youth, not money. Vitality. Men who let themselves go are not losing out to the competition. They are losing out to indifference.

• Men who retire without purpose often become dependent on a partner for entertainment. It shows in every interaction, and it is not appealing.

• Older women are increasingly dating younger, and the men are into it. Bumble data confirms it. Transparency and confidence are the draw.

• One woman read the obituaries to find love. She brought casseroles. It worked. Do not dismiss unconventional approaches.

• Essence matters more than age. The goal is to find someone who wants your presence, not your practicality.

Find out more about Dr. Gilda Carle Here

Order Dr. Gilda Carle's books Here

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

If I’m lucky, I meet someone with whom I may have a good time, a conversation that isn’t one-sided (not always the case), and discover a new place/neighbourhood. If I’m unlucky, I get a monologue about the price of property. I’ve been lucky in the past, finding interesting people no matter where I happen to find myself. In fact, my older son once said to me, “I don’t know why you bother trying to find anyone to date at home, in London, when you’re so good at it when you’re abroad.” He’s not wrong.

My dating record when I’m outside my home country is much, much better than in London. In London, most men I encounter want a pen pal. Abroad, they want to meet. There’s none of this back and forth, endless texting either. I like to meet people quickly or not at all. When I’m only in a place for a week or two, I’m not going to be wasting my time sending messages when I could be exploring a new location or ordering another cocktail.

Thailand and now Vietnam haven’t yielded the same crop of cool men as, say, New York - Greenwich Village still holds a special place in my libido - but when I reflect upon the two and a half months I’ve been away, I haven’t done too badly either. Considering I’m coming up to 65, I’m actually quite pleased at how many men I’ve managed to attract and engage with who, for the most part, have been interesting and attractive enough to warrant a second date, although there has never been the time for that. I blow in, I blow up their ego or them, and then I blow out of town.

Although I’m not massively into age-gap relationships like, for example, who is far more familiar with younger men than I am, I’ve had to acknowledge there’s a severe shortage of men of my own age group on the dating apps. Most of the guys I’ve met are in their late thirties, early forties, which I would dismiss at home as being far too young for me. I mean, I have shoes older than them, but in Southeast Asia, I’ve said yes because they looked fit and healthy and their profile pic and description suggested they would be fun for an evening’s entertainment. I’m not looking to raise them. I’m looking to enjoy them.

That’s not to say that the men I’ve met don’t come with baggage, some significantly more than others. At our age, baggage isn’t optional; it’s carry-on. One man I met recently in Bangkok, escaping a car crash of a marriage (as he put it), completely of his own making, down to his inability to keep his dick in his pants, seemed grateful to meet someone with whom he could offload his life story. I sat there over a very tasty Negroni, which I paid for as his ex had left him with little in the bank — nothing says “sexy” like insolvency — listening to his tale of woe, which included temporarily working as an escort.

With his colourful past, his interest in sex, and his admission that he was on the ‘large side,’ I decided to try out the equipment after he suggested he’d like to come home with me. I’m nothing if not thorough.

Read more

And that’s the problem.

Dr. Dan Sneider is a couples therapist and the founder of IntimacyShift.com. He works with two distinct groups of older people: couples who’ve been together for decades, and people starting over in their 50s and 60s but carrying years of history with them. Both tend to arrive stuck in the same way, often telling a story about their relationship that stopped being accurate a long time ago.

One of Dan’s favourite tools comes from researchers John and Julie Gottman. He calls it the Story of Us. He asks couples to tell the story of their relationship and he says, that most have it memorised. That, he says, is where the work begins because if part of that story is “the passion faded,” that belief is now embedded, and better communication alone won’t shift it.

We also talked about something I personally found frightening in my marriage : disclosing my desires. Not the everyday stuff but the wants you’ve kept quiet about for years, maybe decades. The ones that feel genuinely risky to say out loud.

Dan’s approach isn’t to say everything at once. He talks about volume knobs. Turning down the fear a little, not eliminating it and scheduling regular time to talk about intimacy the same way you’d schedule the gym. Building safety in small stages rather than waiting for a perfect moment that never comes.

We got into conflict too. Specifically, why couples who live for big dramatic ups and downs are actually hardwiring themselves for pain. You know, the stuff of which movie romances are made. The repair is harder and the dopamine hit of drama becomes part of what they expect from love. Dan’s antidote sounds deceptively simple: I-language. “I feel unseen” instead of “you never.” It changes everything about how the repair goes.

Dan uses emotionally focused therapy, a model developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. He recommended her book Hold Me Tight to anyone who wants to understand it. The model runs 12 to 20 sessions, and Dan is refreshingly transparent about this: if you’re not seeing progress within that window, more sessions won’t fix it.

He also runs a 12-week online programme through IntimacyShift.com for couples who can’t access therapy locally or want to do the work on their own schedule. Yes, it’s expensive and that’s the point. Couples who invest are the ones who show up and do the work.

There’s a free tool on his website as well: a six-step framework for unlocking intimate conversations. A good place to start if everything else feels like too much right now.

What Matters

• The story you tell about your relationship shapes how you feel about it. It can be rewritten.

• Disclosing desires doesn’t require going all in at once. Build safety in stages.

• Schedule intimacy conversations like any other practice that matters to you.

• Fight with I-language, not you-language. The repair is easier, and so is the making up.

• Rebuilding after infidelity or betrayal is possible. Dan has seen it happen.

• Emotionally focused therapy runs 12 to 20 sessions. That’s the research-backed window for lasting change.

Find Dr. Dan Sneider Here

6 starting steps to improve intimacy

Unlock even more pleasure, clarity, and confidence in your intimate life by becoming a paid subscriber.

You’ll gain full access to every weekly blog, the complete archive of 150+ expert-led podcasts, the private chat room for candid Q&A, and my 32‑page guide Sex Toys and Supplements for Thriving in Later Life.

If you’re ready to deepen your knowledge, explore new possibilities, and feel fully supported on your journey, upgrade today only £6.99/month or £49.99/year.

Most of my friends know that when it comes to my birthday, I don’t sit around waiting to be discovered like a micro‑influencer on TikTok with dreams of hosting their own TV show. I organise the party myself. I book the restaurant, I text the guests, I sometimes even wrap my own presents, when my kids find themselves unable to (they say it’s my fault for never having taught them). I have long since given up on the unlikely event that someone will surprise me in a way that doesn’t make me want to quietly correct them. Presents are usually pre-ordered. My family, who know me far too well, understand that spontaneity is not our love language. If you go rogue with a gift in our little tribe, you do so at your peril.

That’s just how it is with me and my family. Blunt to the point of comedy, occasionally to the point of social inappropriateness, but never dishonest. And nobody takes offence. Ever. Well, rarely.

Last Christmas, in a one-off, temporary lapse of self-knowledge, I decided to switch things up. I would be the thoughtful one. I would be novel. I would actually choose a present based on what I imagined would be welcome. I bought my dad a wallet. (Yes, I hear it. Not exactly revolutionary. But still.) I presented it with what I felt was a modest flourish. He took one look and said, in the tone of Larry David (because, like him, my dad is from New York), “I already have a wallet I really like.”

Before I could even gather my dignity, my youngest son chirped up, “I really could use a wallet.”

My father, without missing a beat, handed it straight over. “There you go.”

And that was that. My gift, rehomed in under thirty seconds. I was neither upset nor surprised. In my family, presents are provisional. They circulate. They migrate to the person who expresses the most enthusiasm, or a genuine need. Christmas and birthdays are less about sentiment and more about efficient redistribution.

Bob was a boyfriend I had for several years, whom I met on Tinder, to the delight and surprise of everyone I knew and who knew him. He was not a hook-up kind of guy of the type one might usually meet on Tinder. He was kind, gentle, prone to anxiety, the sort of man who apologises without needing to do so. He loved art and, when we met, was reengaging with his long-dormant desire to be a visual artist. I, meanwhile, had recently started singing again. Bob encouraged me to perform. He came to most of my early gigs, beaming in the audience like a true fan, until, as these things go, he got bored a couple of years in and began finding urgent reasons to stay home.

In the first year, though, we were spectacular. The most polished, generous, emotionally available versions of ourselves. So polished, in fact, that I completely ignored the gigantic red flag flapping in a gale behind him: his total dismissal of my sexual history, which was hardly hidden, considering it was documented in my bestselling erotic memoir. Bob insisted on referring to it as fiction. As though the word “memoir” were some avant-garde marketing ploy. I let it slide, because new love is a powerful hallucinogen and I didn’t want to spoil our fantasy romance. Eventually, when our love was less new, his insistence that I made up a decade of my life became a bone of contention until eventually, it broke us.

Nevertheless, and I will give the man his due, Bob was a very thoughtful partner in that first year. In fact, he remains the only man, yes, the only one, who ever constructed a 59th birthday for me (or any birthday) so elaborate, so indulgent, so carefully curated, that I will never, ever forget it. Bob could be extravagant. I try not to think about what the day cost him but I know it was alot, certainly several hundred pounds. But it was, without question, the best birthday I’ve ever had. Possibly in my entire life.

It began, as I believe all proper birthdays should, with food. On the morning itself, he took me to Bermondsey Street, in London, for a slap-up English breakfast. And I mean the works: fried eggs (slightly runny, as he knew I liked them), blood pudding, sausages, bacon, sourdough toast. Bob knew I love a good English breakfast, and this was one of them. The sausages were cooked to perfection, that precise resistance when you bite in, the faint crunch giving way to succulence. The bacon tasted properly cured and smoked, thick and unapologetic, like it had a backbone. The eggs bled gently across the plate waiting to be mopped up by the sourdough (of course) toast.

It was excessive. It was loving. It was exactly what I would have ordered myself, but somehow better for having been chosen for me.

After breakfast we took a slow, satisfied stroll down Bermondsey Street, popping into one shop after another in that way that you sometimes see couples do who have been comfortably together forever or, like us, still in the throes of first date energy. Bob picked up a neat pair of bookends, the exact shape escapes me now, but I suspect they were dogs because Bob loved dogs. He had a dog that had died a couple of years earlier and he still referred to her in the present tense (and spoke to her most evenings when not with me, he told me once). I found a russet‑coloured straw fedora that made me feel like a woman whom could have lived in Shoreditch, but spent weekends in Totnes, neither of which are true.

At noon, Bob glanced at his watch and said, with quiet purpose, “Onto our next stop.”

We walked further down the street and turned into The Bermondsey Square Hotel, where, to my complete surprise, Bob had booked a day room for us.

Read more